A
grandmother, dearly beloved by her family, passed away. And her granddaughter
missed her so much that she desperately wanted to contact the soul
of the deceased. So she went to a psychic, the kind who can see in
a dark room, and said that she wanted to contact the soul of her grandmother.
Sure enough, after much wagging, winking, shaking and choking from
the psychic, there came a very hoarse voice that said, "Hello.
Hello, Jenny."
"Who's that?" said the granddaughter,
and the voice said, "I'm your Grandma." And then Jenny asked,
"Is that really you, Grandma?" and the voice replied, "Yes,
it's me, Jenny. I'm your Grandma." But Jenny still wasn't sure
so she asked again, "Is that you, really you, Grandma?"
And the voice still said, "It is I, your grandmother. Yes, it's
me." So Jenny said, "Well, there's only one question I want
to ask you." And the grandmother replied, "Yes, go ahead."
So the granddaughter said, "Grandmother, since when did you learn
to speak English?" 
Spoken
by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, USA,
June 13, 28, 2001, (Originally in English)
Real
Audio with
English,
French,
Aulacese,
Spanish
subtitle
There
was a man who took a couple of friends to his apartment to show them
around, and one of the friends asked, "What's that big metal
basin for?" So the man replied, "Oh, that's a talking clock."
And the other friend said, "Huh? How come? There's no clock there!
It's just a basin. What do you mean by calling it a 'talking clock'?"
Then the man said, "Watch." And he took out a big hammer,
and banged on the basin: "BANG!" It was very, very loud.
And suddenly a voice came through the wall of the next apartment,
saying, "Cut it out! It's 2:00 in the morning!"
Spoken
by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, USA, December 28, 2001,
(Originally in English)
Real
Audio with
English,
French,
Aulacese,
Spanish
subtitle
A
friend came to visit another friend.
And the friend he came to see had a boy who was about five years old.
The visiting friend asked the boy, "What would you like to do
when you grow up?" And the boy said he would like to be a garbage
collector. So the visiting friend said to the boy's father, "That's
a rather strange ambition. Why does he want to be a garbage collector?"
And the father replied, "Well, that's because he thinks garbage
men only work on Tuesdays." He thought they came only once a
week to collect the garbage!
