135/Between Master and Disciples/On Thin Ice

When working by Master's side in the early years, we often observed Her taking on heavy workloads and working under great pressure. To keep pace with Her, we disciples had to stay focused in our work at all times. Even so, we could only work in shifts to cope with Master's enormous workload.

When by Master's side, I was both focused and quiet because this is the way She Herself works. Her vibrations create a relaxed, tranquil, and peaceful ambience, and naturally help one to concentrate on the wisdom eye. We were thus able to think incisively and act swiftly when working with Her. But when we were away from Master, this ability slowly faded away, and we returned to our old, lazy, unfocused selves. From these experiences, I now understand the goal that I should always strive for.

On the spiritual path, we reap what we sow. The word "luck" is not in our vocabulary. One day, Master taught me how important it is to be persistent and serious in our spiritual practice and not to rely on luck. On that day, She summoned me to Her cabin. She was having a meal, and invited me to share it with Her. As we ate and chatted, our conversation touched on a brother initiate who once told us that he had truly gotten rid of his jealousy, together with bitterness, anger and all the other negative emotions that came with it. I thought to myself how wonderful it was, and was very admiring of him! I myself had always been a jealous type since I was little, and wanted to become free of this trait, but repeatedly failed in my efforts. While admiring this brother for being able to break free from this bondage, I also felt sad for myself.

But Master did not agree with me. I was surprised and perplexed. Then Master said, "Having only knocked down one enemy, he stands up and cheers, and just at the next minute, he gets shot by another bullet." What Master meant was that he was being too complacent and thus would lose his vigilance. As a result, he would soon develop another undesirable quality without being aware of it. I was stunned for a while, but then immediately realized that even if I struggled hard to surpass myself, I needed to practice constant vigilance, as if treading on thin ice. I could not be complacent or relax my alertness.

This analogy cited by Master made me realize that pursuing spiritual practice in this world is similar to battling on the front lines of a war. Whether or not we can protect our inner spirit and diligently improve our character depends on how truthfully we make demands on ourselves. In those days, my biggest misconception was thinking that maintaining vigilance meant staying tense physically and mentally. Of course, I got very tired from being so tense, so I wondered when I could relax my vigilance a bit. I asked Master, "Then when does the battle end?" She nodded and answered, "It will! It will! It will end when we die."

Master's reply reminded me of how demanding She was on Herself. One day Master met with a crowd of disciples and later that night asked me, "I answered such and such person today in this way. Was I being too harsh on him?" I was puzzled, thinking, "Everything Master does is perfect. Why is She asking for my opinion?" One of the reasons that Master is so perfect is that She is harsh on Herself and always practices introspection. She often reminds us to think three times before we act, and hold our tongue seven times before we speak. Not only do we have to think and plan well prior to our actions, but also examine ourselves afterwards. Master truly does what She says. Just these few words from Master had a great impact on me, and even today, I still benefit from them.