Q: This question is picking up on something
You mentioned earlier about sexual energy causing problems. Could
You explain how that happens and what we should do to deal with it?
M:
There are many kinds of energy,
different levels, which we possess. Sexual energy most resembles the
ecstasy that we have during samadhi. Some people enter samadhi and
experience the ecstasy, so they are able to control the sexual energy.
Most people, when they have not reached that level and they experience
the sexual energy, it feels so good that it makes them off balance.
Their body cells react differently. Just like after initiation or
when you come out of samadhi, sometimes your body feels weird, is
shaking, or something. That's the way it is.
That
is why when people are in love, it is just like walking on clouds,
and they are cuckoo sometimes. Because of the sudden change in chemistry
with the chemical reaction and the side effects of it, it puts the
mind off balance. They become either overly happy or agitated for
no reason, and they cannot reason with themselves or with the partner
anymore. That is why people in the old time advised you not to do
anything until your marriage. Not only because of the old-fashioned
concept to keep the virginity and all that, but just to let you both
have time for the body chemistry to get used to each other so when
you finally experience that ultimate feeling at the pleasure center,
you don't offset your balance. You can continue to be friends and
get on with each other, much as before you had sex.
If
you have sex too soon, your mind hasn't got the time to assimilate
and to know each other; and the chemistry of the body, of the cells,
is not trained to be with another person with a different chemistry
and a different program, DNA and all that. So when you have intimate
contact too soon, the sexual energy will kind of explode and make
you both off balance. That is why people say if you have sex too soon,
your marriage will not be very good. It is not because sex is a sin
or anything, it's just that your body is not used to it; it's just
that your mind is not used to it; your spiritual body has not been
programmed to be so intimate so soon. When two persons' powerful energy
meets together, it is like a bomb. So, nothing is bad; it is just
the way you handle it.
For
most people, when you don't have enlightenment to go with it as well,
and the whole society tells you that sex is sinful on top of it, psychologically,
physically, mentally, and emotionally, you feel guilty. That is bad
for your relationship. That is how relationships go wrong. People
condemn sex too much in the society, and on the other hand, they don't
explain and they don't program people into accepting sex as a part
of life or part of the relationship. Then from the psychological effect
alone from the society, from the moral standards from your background,
you feel already off balance and guilty and that's why you struggle
within yourself. You can't handle it. Also, the sexual energy is very
strong; it's almost like samadhi. For mortal people, it is just too
much for them.
Q: So how should we handle it then if it
seems like it's too much for us?
M: You have to understand the nature of sexual
energy. But to understand is one thing and to accept it is another,
because we have been brainwashed for thousands of years that sex is
bad. I can't even change that. If I go out and preach to everyone
that sex is good, sex is okay, they would kill me. [Laughter] So all
I can do is tell you to take it easy, reduce it; slow it down if you
can, if you want to and if that makes you feel good. If you can't
handle it, then the only thing is to reduce it or cut it off until
you're strong enough and can decide what to do. And if you want to
experience the fire, then you have to take the consequences. Even
if I sit here and tell you sex is not sinful or it is okay, you still
cannot accept it. Even if you trust me, your mind cannot accept it
so quickly.
You
see, nothing is really bad; it's just the way we are programmed. For
example, I say to you, "Don't gamble." Many of you probably
wonder, "Why? It's harmless. You just play a few paper cards
and bet one or two dollars. What harm can it be?" It is no harm,
but it's the side effects. Sometimes you lose, you become a bad loser,
or the other person loses, he becomes a bad loser, and this produces
a bad energy between each other. You lose a friend and hate each other,
and things like that create bad energy, negative energy that you have
to bear. You feel choked, you feel pressured. And if it comes to the
worse case, you'll be addicted if you win. If you lose, you'd want
to regain it. If you win, you want to continue. It's the human mind.
It keeps training and training, and after a while, you get used to
gambling and you want more. You go to bigger places and you might
lose bigger time. Then you hurt yourself - you lose your job, you
lose your family, you might sell your wife and kids, even. Some people
do that. You see, it is the side effect that is bad. It is not truly
gambling that is bad.
Suppose
I sit here and do some gambling - would you think that I'm very bad
or sinful? No. It might not be so because it means nothing to me.
I could play the whole night, I could play my whole life, and it wouldn't
mean anything to me. It would not affect me at all. I would not sell
you to make more money. But for most people, they can't handle it
- just like sex, they can't handle it. They are too weak for these
powerful addictions. Like cigarettes - you smoke one, tomorrow two,
next day you have the whole package, and then you can't quit. Or alcohol
- how many people start with one glass? That's all they start with,
even half a glass, or even a sip. Cocaine, anything, is the same.
They start with this much, and that's how it grows into trouble. That
is why I say stay away from them, even though I do not condemn anything.
I know the soul chooses its own path, but whatever you have chosen,
whatever you want to choose, you have to know the consequences and
choose wisely. If you want to go Home quicker, if you decided that
this time you want to go Home, stay away from these distractions.
It costs you too much, mentally.
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