By
brother initiate Duc Vu, Indiana, USA (Originally in English)
During
my teenage and early adult years, I dated many girls, while constantly
searching for just the "right" one, a deeply romantic "soul
mate", based on my expectations and imagination. However, despite
some "close encounters", I never really felt love in my
heart, but only continued to satisfy my male ego.
I
knew a little bit about reading Chinese horoscopes, and at age 30,
met a young lady (my present wife) who had a star sign indicating
"good inner qualities" and many other signs suggesting that
we would one day be husband and wife! So, few years later, we got
married, but unfortunately, conflicts began to occur between us soon
after! There was a great deal of upheaval, emotional pain and frustration
in our family, even more so after our two children were born. Our
minds functioned in totally different ways, due to our different backgrounds,
personalities, likes and dislikes, etc.- we were complete opposites!
We lived in the same house but were worlds apart. Then, after ten
long years of struggling to keep our marriage together, we found one
common thing between us: Supreme Master Ching Hai! My wife and I both
loved Her immediately and sincerely wanted to practice spiritually.
The following year, our entire family received initiation.
Master
came into our family to warm our hearts. Since then, She has always
been behind the scenes, teaching us to be more tolerant, patient and
forgiving of each other. Through numerous experiences, the Quan Yin
Method has softened our egos, and expanded our love, compassion, and
understanding, which has brought my wife and I closer together. For
example, one day, in a dream, I saw my wife walking away with her
belongings. I suddenly felt very sad, as love welled up in my heart,
and then I called her to come back. Luckily, she did! Master thus
revived the love in my heart, gradually turning our family atmosphere
into one of joy, love and peace. A common joke, but one that is rather
profound says that if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all!
I
finally realized that my marriage is truly a school where I can learn
how to love, which I did not know how to do before. The Light and
Sound meditation gives me inner instruction that changes me daily.
Looking back over ten years of practicing the Quan Yin Method, I can
not imagine the person I once was. I also understand now that no marriage
relationship is "perfect," and without the need for constant
hard work. It is a big part of spiritual growth, a building block
to the next step on the spiritual ladder toward total enlightenment,
something we must work on instead of expecting to be the way we want.
I have come to see that communication between partners is always the
most crucial tool for a good partnership. And the most common mistake
in a relationship is one partner "assuming" or "interpreting"
what the other thinks, says or does.
In
1998, I wrote the following poem as a supplementary marriage vow to
my wife. I would like to dedicate it to all the husbands who once
had a "wooden" heart like I did.
